It didn’t matter that many of the songs followed the same fractured dream logic of a David Lynch movie. It didn’t matter that the characters floated around weightlessly, as if they’d been shot in the rear with a tranquilliser dart. Between the ages of one and three, my children absolutely wolfed this stuff down. And YouTube is where I first came to know Cocomelon. The Cocomelon you see on Netflix is actually an edited highlights reel of its YouTube channel the second most viewed channel on Earth, with 82bn views and a $120m annual ad revenue. If you’re a preschool child, though, this stuff is like crack. Some songs – like Father and Sons Day, where the toddler does sit-ups with a sort of formaldehyde Rob Lowe figure – are genuinely unbearable to endure. It’s cloying and simplistic and repetitive and, unless you happen to be suffering from a very specific type of hangover, not designed to be watched by adults at all. Look, Cocomelon is not the sort of thing that holds up to scrutiny well. His family prepares him by endlessly drilling him on what he needs to take, what he needs to do and the precise level of emotion he should be experiencing.
Over a melody pitched nebulously between Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and This Old Man He Played One, a CGI toddler (think Pixar by way of a debilitating radiation leak) expresses nerves about starting school. The first episode – Cocomelon Sing-Alongs: Playdate With JJ – begins with a song called First Day at School.
In fact, Cocomelon is a just series of three hour-long nursery rhyme compilations. And if anything that’s putting it loosely. Isabel who? Isabel working? I had to knock! Alpaca who? Alpaca the suitcase, you load the car! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? Orange who? Orange you going to open the door? Doris who? Door is locked, that’s why I’m knocking! Nuisance who? What’s new since yesterday? This next one is for the grammar police, ha ha! Theodore who? Theodore is stuck and it won’t open! Justin who? Justin the neighborhood and thought I’d come over! (My almost 7 year old came up with this one, and he was so proud! Although I’m sure that someone somewhere has thought of this same idea.) Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don’t let me in! Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you’re doing and let me in! Mikey who? Mikey doesn’t fit in the key hole! Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
Canoe who? Canoe come out and play with me? (The MOOO needs to be delivered while the other person is still asking big interrupting cow who – this is fun to watch kids try to get the timing right! ? ) Cash who? No thanks, but I’ll take a peanut if you have one! A little old lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel! Amish who? Really? You don’t look like a shoe! Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear another joke? Who’s there? Broccoli? Broccoli who? Broccoli doesn’t have a last name, silly. Goliath who? Goliath down, you look-eth tired! You’ll also want to print these funny lunchbox joke cards. We love all kinds of jokes, so be sure to check out our hilarious jokes for kids. Yes, they’re corny and goofy, but kids LOVE them! And then of course then they have to make up their own – which make absolutely no sense at all! ? I think knock, knock jokes are a childhood rite of passage. These jokes are clean and family friendly and will definitely get everyone laughing.
Here are 40+ knock, knock jokes that kids will be sure to love!